About Love

When I was a little girl, I've always dreamed of being inlove (I know,gatal ek?) and I have always wanted to have a boyfriend. I guess its natural for a girl to feel that way. Ofcourse my viewpoint of love then was totally different from now. Back then,it was more honest and sincere I would say. No hidden meaning. To have a boy drooling over you was nice, cuz it would mean that you were pretty enough. Then, approaching adoloscence, it was more bout the trend, everyone in school who had a boyfriend was considered cool, what so ever. Again, the recognition of being a hot stuff, kononnya lah. But I was always a love fool. I thought I fell inlove in school for the first time. And didn't realize it until it was over. At the time, love was harsh, hormones were raging, jealousy was at its best. Being a teen is not easy for me. I was a very rebellious and conflicting teen I would say. Love for me back then, was having a bf who paid FULL attention to me unconditionally. I wanted to be in control, of everything. Then, I continued on my journey of relationships with men, many types I mind you, but still couldn't find what I was looking for. It was either this guy was too soft for me, or too jealous for me, or too dependant...no one ever fit my criteria. What criteria? Well, I never really had a criteria. I just simply like someone and date them. I know, easy huh. But no, it wasn't easy. It wasn't love every time. I was looking for true love. But I wasn't sure what its like to find your true love. But what the hell/heaven is true love? Really? Then, I almost gave up on love. No one ever fit, or from my view, I never fit. I was probably one of those girls who will just grow old without marriage and kids. I didn't mind anymore. I just went on enjoying with my life and stopped thinking bout true love cuz I decided that I'll never find it. I'll just date anyone and get to know that person but never find true love. But as I went on with my life, I've met a few group of people who then introduced me to this guy. At first, I only thought of him as good looking. Thats it. I just broke up then, and wasn't thinking of having another relationship anytime soon. But when I got home that night, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I don't want to sound corny, but I felt something in my heart. Like orang kata, hati terdetik, and I said to myself," Dear God, if he is truly my match, please show me the way.I will be a better person if You show me if he is the one." I was suprised I even said that in the first place. I barely knew the guy and he barely talks to me. Kelakar kan? I was also at the time enjoying myself being single. But somehow, I just felt something. Like an ache in my heart. Then, we continued on being hangout friends. And the rest is history :) We finally dated, and less than a year got engaged and married! I've dated guys for 4 years, 5 even and didn't even get to the extent of being engaged. But with my hubby, it happened very fast. I sometimes forgot how easy the journey was for us. Alhamdulillah. Back on the subject of love, I have found a new meaning of true love...that is sharing my everything with my husband in the name of Allah. I've finally found my peace. I understand now, what I was looking for. True love can only be found when you find it through the right path, which is in the path of Allah. I'm blissful. Thank you Allah, the Most Merciful.