My knight and shining armour...

I perceive my husband as my knight and shining armour. No, he didn't come riding on a horse with his sword by his side..hehe. But he came at the time when I needed salvation and strength. I thought he was the most handsome person I've ever seen when I first saw him. Call me corny, but it was love at first sight! Yes, it was. And until this day I am still very much in love with him. To those who know me well would agree that he is one of the best choice I've made in life so far! I used to be a very impatient person, and he taught me to become more patient. My husband taught me how to love again unconditionally. He was perfect for me. I knew back then, he was the one. And he always will be. I thank you hubby for being there for me, for loving me unconditionally, for your patience and tolerance. I can be a little prissy sometimes...I know. Thank you for understanding me. I pray and hope our love will always be blessed by Allah. Forever loving you, my perfect man!

Just one of those days...

Just one of those days when a girl goes through, when I'm angry inside and wanna take it out on you! Have you girls out there ever felt blue out of a sudden. This minute you feel chirpy and happy and the other second you feel like screaming your heart out? Hormones, u say? I agree, but how powerful could hormone changes really affect your mood. I'm usually not the moody type. I'm temperamental sometimes but not always moody. I guess stress is the word lah. Lately, I've been feeling stressed out. And I'm not really sure why? The more I think about it the more I can't figure out why I'm stressed. Tired yes, out of taking care of my lil one, but it's not really that bad. My Adam is active but he's not the fussy making tantrums type...at least not all the time. Most of the time he is easy to take care of. But still, he doesn't stress me out to this extent. I just had my period so it couldn't be PMS. Sometimes, I feel the need to be understood without being questioned and sometimes I feel the need to be asked why without giving an answer. Do I make sense now? Well, it doesn't matter because this is is just one of those days where I like to be left alone and to be on my own. Just a phase I hope....

I'm not Perfect!

I am not perfect! Making mistakes is part of being human. I thought about all the ones I made in the past. Well, I figured that I wouldn't be here today if I didn't go through all the experiences I had in the past. So, I learn. Learn from my mistakes. I'm still learning. I thought it wouldn't be any good to regret the things that we had done. To those who knew me long ago, would dare say I have changed a lot. Well, I believe in change. I hate being stagnant. My past mistakes? Too many to mention. Lets just say I've been there done that. Well, almost...As a teenager, I was a stubborn and rebellious girl, at some point, wild! Sneaking out late nights without my parents permission, changing boyfriends every year....hmm...the &%$#ed up years, the gigs, the parties, clubs...well, those are just a few to mention. Bottom line, not all of them were bad experiences and mistakes. Some are nice memories to remember and friends to keep forever :) Now that I have become a mom, my life has changed. My point of view has changed. My priority has changed. I worry:) I know to worry is part of being a mom. I worry for my son. On account of my past, I'm not really a role model he can follow :) But at least, I can be there for him when he is in a bad situation. I can teach him the right from the wrong. And the rest is his call. Like what my parents taught me. You know whats right and whats wrong. You choose. Well, I really respect and adore my mom. I know she had a really rough time with me when I was younger. I love you ma. Thanks for not giving up on me. One thing I've learned for sure is, I will never give up. I believe in 2nd chances. Hell, I believe in all the chances you can get before you rest in peace. Its really up to you. My late grandfather used to say,"You can correct everything you do while you are still alive, you can solve any problems in this world if you are still breathing, because when you die, thats it. No more chances!" I'll stick to that. I will do my best to become a better person. I know I'm bound to make mistakes again.But I'll learn. I pray that Allah will guide me and my family to the right path. Amin.

Headache!

Arrghh today I woke up with a throbbing pain in my head and back! I guess its time for me to de stress la kan hubby :) I hope we get to stick to our plan on going somewhere end of this month. Well, at least a trip to spa for me please please :) I actually wondered whoever said being a home wife is so much relaxing than going to work? It is very tiring and stressful too. So hands up to working moms out there. I really don't know how you do it. But I know I'm knocked out each time I go to bed every night! Well, the thing is my Adam Hakeem is at the stage where he is walking..no running everywhere! And he just doesn't listen...He loves the idea of being free and that he can go wherever he wants without anyone's help. I bet all the stay at home moms understand where I am getting at. I am not complaining really just releasing some of my thoughts :) I like the fact that he is an active healthy little boy who likes to mess up his shirt every time I feed him. I guess its part of growing up, messing up...hehehe. Well, now I understand literally why our Rasulullah told us to respect our mom like times 3! If only I knew how difficult it is to raise a human being. And I'm not even half way through! Hahah..Well I think thats the fun part. Who knows what lays ahead, counting from my own experience...I hope my son tak ikut sangat la my perangai! If not, I know I'm going to have a helluva time....My mom like to say to me...Now u know la how I felt! OMG, is that like a curse or something? hehehe...I know I was a pain in the butt la mum...But really lets pray that our little beloved Adam will grow up well and be a good boy:) hehehehe. Mother's prayers always help. I pray and hope Allah will take care of our family and help me raise my son to become a good man, InsyaAllah.

Cyber oh Cyber...

Well, i havent been blogging lately...been busy with hubby being ill then myself and my baby Adam. Yesterday, hubby and I drove all the way to Cyberjaya trying to test this new route that they say only took 15 mins to Cyber from KL. Well, I thought the trip wasn't that bad and no...it didnt really took 15 mins but more to reach Cyber..The reason we went all the way was because Hubby is supposedly about to get this new job up in Cyber and we wanted to know whether its okay to travel back and forth or whether we wanted to move there altogether..Hmm..until today we are still undecided maybe because there's no finalization yet on whether hubby really got the job or not...kekeke. And on another note, we have mama to consider. She works in Selayang Hospital and kesian pulak if she has to travel far to her workplace. Well, either way I don't mind, nak pindah ke tanak ke...As long as its good for everybody. Right now...i'm more concerned on nak kena tinggal end of this month! My family is going to Melbourne for a short holiday and I can't imagine doing everything all by myself without my mom's help...Hmmm memang anak manja la...What to do...Its time to grow up and learn i guess..to be more independent.. kekeke..Oh well, we'll see how it goes nanti :)