About Love

When I was a little girl, I've always dreamed of being inlove (I know,gatal ek?) and I have always wanted to have a boyfriend. I guess its natural for a girl to feel that way. Ofcourse my viewpoint of love then was totally different from now. Back then,it was more honest and sincere I would say. No hidden meaning. To have a boy drooling over you was nice, cuz it would mean that you were pretty enough. Then, approaching adoloscence, it was more bout the trend, everyone in school who had a boyfriend was considered cool, what so ever. Again, the recognition of being a hot stuff, kononnya lah. But I was always a love fool. I thought I fell inlove in school for the first time. And didn't realize it until it was over. At the time, love was harsh, hormones were raging, jealousy was at its best. Being a teen is not easy for me. I was a very rebellious and conflicting teen I would say. Love for me back then, was having a bf who paid FULL attention to me unconditionally. I wanted to be in control, of everything. Then, I continued on my journey of relationships with men, many types I mind you, but still couldn't find what I was looking for. It was either this guy was too soft for me, or too jealous for me, or too dependant...no one ever fit my criteria. What criteria? Well, I never really had a criteria. I just simply like someone and date them. I know, easy huh. But no, it wasn't easy. It wasn't love every time. I was looking for true love. But I wasn't sure what its like to find your true love. But what the hell/heaven is true love? Really? Then, I almost gave up on love. No one ever fit, or from my view, I never fit. I was probably one of those girls who will just grow old without marriage and kids. I didn't mind anymore. I just went on enjoying with my life and stopped thinking bout true love cuz I decided that I'll never find it. I'll just date anyone and get to know that person but never find true love. But as I went on with my life, I've met a few group of people who then introduced me to this guy. At first, I only thought of him as good looking. Thats it. I just broke up then, and wasn't thinking of having another relationship anytime soon. But when I got home that night, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I don't want to sound corny, but I felt something in my heart. Like orang kata, hati terdetik, and I said to myself," Dear God, if he is truly my match, please show me the way.I will be a better person if You show me if he is the one." I was suprised I even said that in the first place. I barely knew the guy and he barely talks to me. Kelakar kan? I was also at the time enjoying myself being single. But somehow, I just felt something. Like an ache in my heart. Then, we continued on being hangout friends. And the rest is history :) We finally dated, and less than a year got engaged and married! I've dated guys for 4 years, 5 even and didn't even get to the extent of being engaged. But with my hubby, it happened very fast. I sometimes forgot how easy the journey was for us. Alhamdulillah. Back on the subject of love, I have found a new meaning of true love...that is sharing my everything with my husband in the name of Allah. I've finally found my peace. I understand now, what I was looking for. True love can only be found when you find it through the right path, which is in the path of Allah. I'm blissful. Thank you Allah, the Most Merciful.

On a quest for a new anti aging cream

This morning when I woke up, I started to notice fine lines under my eyes...Oooops. I'm not sure if its because of the lack of sleep I've been having since the birth of Alif or because of age itself. I figured out that it could be the result of both. I am approaching 31 years old soon. I know most people would be embarassed in admitting their real age, but alah...I've always thought as age is nothing but a number. So after a shower, while my kids are still asleep, I turned on the laptop and started to google,"Best anti aging skincare product". I may sound a little fickle, but the fine lines really bothered me. I'm thinking that I'm willing to spend a little extra if I could get me a good if not great moisturizer that can fight these lines and make my skin more radiant. I'm sure as a woman, everyone wants to look great kan? I'm currently using L'oreal Revitalift and Body Shop Vitamin E toner. Hubby never complained bout how I look. But still, I think as I'm aging, I should start on a new stronger anti aging cream somehow. As I surfed online, I've found many useful informations on harmful contents in skincare products and what not. But still, I haven't found the cream of the crops. I would love to try that new SK II product that's been launched but I'm not sure if the product is as great as claimed. Anyone ever used SK II? And that will burn a hole in my pocket too..or in this case my hubby's pocket...hehe. Oh well, I am thinking of Biotherm which is a cheaper alternative, but I don't think they have an anti aging product. I used to use Clinique before but somehow it irritated my skin...not sure why. Prolly because I started using the product when I was 12? hahaha. Ok...nevermind, I will continue on searching for this miracle cream. :) Btw, my darling Adam is recovering from his fever. Phewwww! Only Allah knows how worried a mother I am when my child is ill. Thank you Allah for healing him :)

My brother's wedding

End of last month, on the 25th of June 2009 my second brother Hamzil got married to his long time fiancee Nissa. Reception on the bride's side was held in Seremban on the 27th and on our side was in Dewan Merak Kayangan Felda on the 5th of July. Everything went on smoothly and was settled accordingly. I'm very happy for my brother to finally able to join my club and to understand how its like to be a responsible husband to his wife. My brother and I had our fair share of row and misunderstandings due to our differences in opinion (most of the time) and character. He's more fussy than I am and more determined and hardheaded I would say. But even so, he has a soft heart and compassionate. What came to my mind about his nikah event which was held in Masjid Wilayah Jalan Duta, was how sad and taken I was when he finally made his vow with one go (lafaz) without hesitation. I cried like mad and everyone was puzzled to see me in such a state. I'm not sure why I cried so badly, Its just that I've always viewed my brother as a big overgrown baby who still comes home snuggling at my mom. And suddenly, he's someone else's husband. I couldn't imagine him being responsible for another when he himself is being taken care of from every aspect, from his laundry to his food and everything. I guess I misjudged him. Now I can see that he is a full grown man, ready to become a husband ( he is btw almost 30). And to see him get married like that triggers all the memories of our childhood, the laughters, the fights and arguments we had. How time flies on a jetplane...I always say. He has moved out since he got married. And comes over on weekends. But still calls my mom everyday from office :) I guess he feels it too. Being separated from home for the first time, for good. Oh well, Hamzil, Akak prays for ur wellbeing and that of your wife. Now that your journey in marriage has started, be sure to take the rite path, which is the path of Allah. May both of you live in harmony and in happiness blessed by Him, The One and Only. Amiin...

What a day What a day...

I remember a song where Erykah Badu goes Whatta day whatta day, whining bout how tired it is a whole days work, reminding me of how exausting mine is...I haven't blog for almost a year...and I can't really say why. I've been coped up with many life's plan and daily routines, i guess. I read my last entry and it was about a year ago...and yet another anniversary had passed. Our 5th year anniversary :) I was in confinement this time, like 2 days left till its over, but we headed out for dinner anyway at Kampachi Pavillion. Had a great dinner and this time we didn't bring Adam or his lil bro Alif with us :) Yes, I just had another baby boy, whom we named Mohammad Alif Hussain. He was born rather small compared to his brother at only 2.51 kg. But as per today, he has gained tremendous weight and is already 5.2 kg at 2 months. Not bad huh, for a fully breastfed baby. My schedule has been hectic with the arrival of Alif and with Adam being an active lil toddler. Adam is already 2 years and 8 months. He's really smart and speaks like an adult. But ofcourse having a lil too smart for his age toddler is not easy. I have to argue with him everyday. Love them both to bits. But today, Adam fell ill with fever and the house suddenly turns quiet and boring without his fuss and laughter. Get well soon my son. As for updates, I finally managed to get myself a maid, through a proper channel, right before I gave birth to Alif. So a lot of help is indeed a bliss during confinement. I can fully concentrate on both my kids. And recovery is better than the first time before. This is probably due to all the vitamins and what ever healing medication i had consumed during confinement. Alhamdulillah. Now we're back on track :) As for relocation and all that, none of that happened. In fact hubby had secured a job in a new company with a better salary. We also bought a house near our parents which is due to be ready by March next year. I'm sooooo excited bout this whole thing! Finally our own nest, I'm already daydreaming bout decorating our new home :) But ofcourse, money needs to be saved first. We've been spending and spending like mad this past few months. I guess its time to start saving up to. I'm sure moving cost would involve a lot of money.
I'm also planning on putting our baking business back on track. Ramadhan is approaching and I'm sure most working moms don't have the to bake cookies and cakes for Raya :) Once I get my business on track I'll probably post some of them here. Alrite then, I'll just update later on...:)